This is the face of a new mama.
Exhausted from 3 days of labor.
Drugged up from soo many medications.
Restless from trying to push for over an hour.
Saddened because my son almost flatlined.
Feeling the pressure as the nurses made me feel like a failure because I couldn’t push my son out.
Ashamed that I wasn’t able to have a natural birth.
Fearful of the unknown after the doctors/nurses rolled me to the operation room to save my baby.
Stressed because for the first minutes after my son came into this world there was complete silence, as the nurses rushed him away from me.
Jealous because once baby was stable, his father was able to experience skin to skin before me.
Overwhelmed with the thought of knowing I am now a new mom who will one day have to depart the hospital and care for her newborn without help.
Moments of abandonment because no one longer asked about how I was feeling as a mama; every question was about my son.
These were the emotions of my birthing experience... not once did I feel joyful during my labor and that is okay.